Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
