Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
try to milk me bitch
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