I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize