you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You made out with two different species that night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
