I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm both gender and math confused
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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