Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
