ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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