No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
