So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
