Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
