I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was like getting head from an anaconda
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
