how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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