we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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