oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude i'm inner monologue high
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i out mim tonsoeep
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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