would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
