I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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