Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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