my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
