based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
