why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
