DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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