My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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