im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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