Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
