New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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