i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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