And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize