Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
