Your tits are I can't wait for
This is not my ceiling
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
