I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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