True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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