I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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