Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize