I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
