Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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