Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
