So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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