After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
