Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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