Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
