Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
