Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
