He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
