is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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