yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
