I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
