i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
