how can u be prego again
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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