Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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