It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
