Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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