dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
