Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
