Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
