can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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