Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
