I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
