Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
we're so committed to being not committed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
