Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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