Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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