Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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