my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
