I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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