You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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