I intend to get homeless drunk
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
