I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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