He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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