isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
