didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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