My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
